you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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