Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize