i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
