He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
