Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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