come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
