Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
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Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
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If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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