The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
