just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize