All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
