thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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