your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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