Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize