Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
