I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You may now shotgun with the bride
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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