My brain says no but my pants say off.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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