I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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