He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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