then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
