what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
