You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
