You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
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Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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