when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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