Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
