cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
