Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
