The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
