Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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