there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
