I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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