i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
