Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
