thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
