you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So squirting runs in the family.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
