He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
nutella sex= disaster
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
