these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I am mentally ready for anal.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
