i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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