I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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