I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
