i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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