So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
