I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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