i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My dick has a subreddit
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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