i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
