fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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