on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
