remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
