I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
not ubering you a puppy
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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