He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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