then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There r osticjed everywhere
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
