Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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