Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You took a bar mat shot.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
