I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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