We're facebook friends in real life
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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