I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
