i just had sex bonerless
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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