i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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