This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize