and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
