I wish I could punch you in the face.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
