he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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