Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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