I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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