Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
